Alienware m9700 Review - PART ONE aka: “There’s a &%^$#ing button for that!?!” :

I was a precocious teenager when Alienware started pumping out their gaming computers, the lovely year of 1996 - when not only was gaming hardware scarce, it was never as attractive inside and outside like Alienware’s lineup. I always fawned quietly as I saw ads in gaming magazines, pointing out to everyone I know that THAT was the kind of computer every good gamer wanted. They’d all pat my head and point out the price, which back in 1996 was always kidney-thieving money. So, I’d quietly tap in the website’s address and look around.. never fully getting to go to the “dance”. I know, it’s a sad tale.

However, now that I’m twenty-five years old and working in the industry that promotes such — I have a chance to tinker with one of my most beloved items on the wish list. Here, I shall go into the first part which was the unveiling and the blood-letting that happened beforehand.

When FedEx finally delivered the box, the man asked for my signature and I stared at the box. He laughed and asked if I wanted it brought in, because it was kind of heavy. I just stood there, still staring and quietly told him I could handle it. He chuckled and patted my arm as I tried to hoist it up, then I grunted my thank-you and brought it into the house. When I got in, I retrieved a knife to cut through the tape and ended up slicing my thumb open. I figured this was some kind of Grecian blood letting ceremony, so I shrugged it off and continued opening up the box. When I got inside the first box, I found a black handle to a black cardboard box. Carefully, I slid it out and a pitch black box with the Alienware figurehead on the front sat before me. I just stared. Wow. Ominous picture, should I open this? Would a crew of Scientologists attack me and claim my brains? See? I had a lot to contemplate.

Anyways, with much apprehension (Yeah, right. Sure.) I opened the box and saw a lovely little green case being safely held by thick cushy foam. Now, packaging alone - Alienware has you set. It’s gorgeously done and presented and when you take out your laptop and set it down, you open up the other box that comes within it. In mine, a t-shirt, leather bound binder for software, instruction manual, cords and since I have Media Center edition - the remote and receiver. Alienware was also kind enough to send me one of the Logitech laser mice that I had reviewed previously. I scoffed at this, because I figured the touchpad would be enough.

They knew better and as packing my box, they knew the gamer chick would need a mouse. So kind of them, right? Totally needed it too.

Anyhow, when I booted it up a beautiful silver Alien head showed up on screen. Soon people were rallying around and pointing at it.. oohs and ahhs from the crowd as I attempted to check out it’s various buttons. Seriously, the thing is so completely souped up with every feature you could possibly imagine. I’ll be getting into that in the next part. However, I was amazed by the touch panel at the top of the keyboard area. Flat and smooth, I had no clue what it was for until I touched the tiny one with the IE symbol. Guess what. It brought up the browser. I couldn’t even believe the almost painted on “button” was actually a BUTTON. I was shocked. I then peered around the back to see every kind of input you could imagine. A beautiful placement for coaxial cables, S Video inputs and outputs, subwoofer, speakers — literally anything. I even plugged in my toaster and powered it through a USB hub so I could make some scrummy toast as I write this. True story. (Okay, maybe not - but you get my point.)

So far, so good and in the next part — you’ll read how my gaming tests went. I go through quite a few graphic intensive games such as Oblivion, Half Life, Halo and I’m even going to try my hand at Titan Quest which wooed me at E3 but I never had a computer that could handle the thing.

Stay tuned!