Want to Break Some Sh*t? Brando’s Wii Sports Kit:

You’re probably wondering what my localized TEK hard-on for Brando is today but I assure you, it’s just because after writing up the LED review - I realized I hadn’t told my fun little story about the Wii Sports Kit that they’re peddling off as product. Oh yes, see - I learned from my Topcom situation, ladies and gentlemen. I made sure to email the folks at Brando about this situation, asking if they’d like to replace the product or just let me run it as it goes. I could’ve kept it off the site, but perhaps it’s best to make mention of this before more people go jumping into the “Wii Sports” controller emulation craze.

Now, they don’t show you upfront that each piece is it’s own separate entity and it comes with a base piece that you snap the Wiimote into after taking your strap off. You can of course, put it back on but this part is a pain in the ass. Don’t even bother. Anyways, you snap that piece on and then whichever Wii Sports game that you want to play, be it Golfing, Tennis or Baseball - has a piece to fit on the top of the Wiimote. Sliding this small switch up, you fit the two pieces together with shoddily thin plastic holding your tennis racket’s head onto the top of your Wiimote. Honestly, duct-tape would’ve made more sense.

When I used it, it seemed almost more cumbersome than using just the Wiimote. I shrugged it off as just something to challenge the player and I slowly became used to it. Once I was done playing, I went to sit at my laptop to tinker around and my Father ambled in to take his shot at his Wii Sports Age. Within seconds a white baseball-bat shaped blur came shooting past my face and into the plate glass patio door. My eyes widened and I jumped up to peer down at the floor, seeing the baseball bat portion of the Wiimote spinning on the carpet near the door. Thankfully we’ve got a rather thick window and the baseball piece hit the blinds first, keeping the velocity from smashing our door into pieces. My father comes rushing into the dining room and lets out a rather goofy chuckle, bringing his eyes from the door to the Wiimote.

My response? I sighed, took it away from him and looked over the base of the Sports Kit’s holder that was snug on the Wiimote. The plastic was wrecked and mangled, obviously noting that whatever kept the heads secured to the Wiimote was not even nearly strong enough for a person of average strength. I’m weak as hell so it wasn’t noticeable, put a grown man behind the wheel though and he’ll send that damn thing through a window.

“Candice, before you get mad at me.. look.”, he said quietly as he watched my confusion at the baseball bat attachment and it’s millions of plastic pieces.

He had the wrist-strap firmly attached, something that he had been yelled at constantly for but that had yet to have been a problem. However, he puts it on this time and almost breaks a window. Go figure.