Takara’s Walkie-Bits; Pink Heart-Shell Robot Turtle:

I wish I was making up that title, but that’s an actual description of the tiny pink and unabashedly robot turtle that I have in my possession. There are some people out there saying, “Oh, that’s so KAWAII!” and then there’s a large group of very masculine men saying; “Oh, seriously? That’s the most homo thing to ever homo’d.” (Remember, this is the fraternity loving, steroid junkie saying this. Not me.). However, there are tons of people in the middle that think the novelty of a cute robot turtle is totally there. True, most of them live in the Harajuku area - but that’s besides the point. What we have here is a chance to goof off and consume your time with a strangely strong combination of “awesome” and “kickass”. True, it’s heavily steeped in a thick broth of boredom - but we all get bored sometimes.

What the purpose of the Walkie-Bits Robot Turtle rests on is that you’re all going to need a friendly little competition with your friends and loved ones. If they all have their own Walkie-Bit turtles, then you can race them, make them all happily sing together, switch their shells out with others (Then you bet your Turtle’s pink slips on if it can win the big race. I hear they live their lives a quarter mile at a time.) or make them duel to the death. Okay, so maybe there is no death other than loss of battery-life, but you get the point.

The directions seemed a bit difficult to comprehend but I blame this on the fact that the Japanese-to-English instructions were a bit wackadoo. It can also be a bit cumbersome to figure out if you’re supposed to let the Turtle shut up before pushing it’s shell down four times, then three, then four again. Hell, doing that kind of stuff got me kicked out of Sea World. However, normal turtles don’t sing when you firmly depress their shells repeatedly.

They just die.

(View my personal Walkie-Bit named “Adora” after the jump. Also, don’t make fun of my She-Ra reference. It’s a sickness.)